Murphy---LEAVE NOW!!

So Thursday was an interesting day. Yep. Interesting.

This old house has issues with doorknobs. I try to "fix" them, but several are so old there are not parts available to accomplish the job. So they rattle, are loose, don't latch, won't unlatch or just plan fall off. Keep this in mind it's an important part of the story.

Wookie wanted to go smell dog smells, chase leaves and most importantly dig to China in his yard. Easiest way to "his yard", an enclosed area he can not escape from until he figures out how to dig tunnels not just random holes, is out our front door. So I opened the inside front door. This is a mammoth custom made door, thicker than any normal door and yes the door knob has issues. The knobs fall of on a routine basis. NO matter how often I tighten the screws. Currently there is one knob attached on the inside and none on the outside of the door. The prudent thing when using this door IS TO NOT SHUT IT from the outside. You won't be able to open it from the outside.

So I let Wookie out thru the front door and thur the front porch door. I remembered to leave the inside door open a crack so I got back in just fine.

The troubles started when it was time to get the Popsicle dog inside again. I left the inside front door open a crack, like a prudent person, then TRIED to open the porch door. No go. The stem thing that goes into the door frame (just what it is called escapes me) would not budge. CRAP!

I go back into the house and get MY philips screwdriver and the lube stuff I like-- not Chucks WD-40 crap. Out I go to fix this darn door knob. It has been moody ever since the contractors installed it. Just living up to the 100 yr old house expectations. I made a little tactical error next. I shut the inside front door tight. Cut off my own escape route. Made a little cell block just for me. As soon as I shut it I knew I had made a huge error. I was going to have to go over a fence anyway I went to get back into the house, if I could get the porch door knob fixed. You can start humming "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" now.

Let me say that I am glad I was fully dressed at this point. I Have climbed over the fence in my bathrobe and slippers before. NOW that is a Kodak moment. Especially because I haven't had a shower yet and my hair is standing on end. I have lucky neighbors for sure.

Back to the story. With my trusty philips screwdriver I start removing the screws in the door knob. Those suckers were LONG!! I got them out and took the knob off and lubed that sucker good. But I still didn't get the darn thing to retract the part that goes into the door frame. (I am going to have to Google door knobs and find out what the blue blazes that is called, it's driving me nuts!) I fiddled and farted around for quite a while before I finally got the door opened. I drowned the parts with lube, reassembled and opened and shut the door several times to make sure it was fixed as good as doorknobs get fixed in a Poetz house.

I chose to go over the short fence this time. Not as much of a challenge with jeans and tennis shoes as when trying in bathrobe and slippers so I didn't get may style points. Wookie has been thoroughly entertained by all this activity and had momentarily halted his excavations to observe the crazy lady work.

So my next fun came when I was making a HUGE batch of Cranberry Hooty Creeks cookies. These are really good cookies but expensive to make when you are quadrupling the batch. I had softened the butter, creamed the sugars in and was adding the eggs one at a time--I was using my Bosch Mixer, this is important, I got the first several eggs in without mishap. But the last darn egg---well---that sucker slipped out of my hand and the entire egg, shell and all went into the Bosch Mixer bowl as it was RUNNING.

Holy Crapola! I spent the next 20 minutes picking out egg shell. I was not about to waste all that butter and sugars and eggs and 4T of real vanilla. Besides everyone needs calcium, Right???

And to round off my delightful day I decided to see if I could bounce better off hardwood floors than I do off stairs. I don't just for the record.

I have doggie gates setup to keep Wonkeye out of important places--like my crap (craft) room and such. I was tired--besides the problems above mentioned I had cleaned carpets, dejunked the kitchen and living room, folded laundry, finished Christmas cards, hung a Quillow in the laundry room, vacuumed and mopped and taken Wookie to pee several times, and jogged for a 1/2 hour. Full day.

I was going to put laundry on our bed and stepped over the dog gate into my crap room, with no style points at all, nicked the top of the gate with my slipper clad foot, tried to catch myself and somehow tripped over the trampoline, dropped laundry basket and tried to catch myself but ended up landing hard on my right hand and right knee. I DID NOT BOUNCE. I scared the H*LL out of Wookie and had a little pity party laying right there, afraid to move. I have tripped over this darn gate often enough that Wookie clears out when he sees or here's me coming close to it.

When I told my DH what I did, bless him, he didn't laugh--he just sort of shook his head. He doesn't bounce well either. But he only falls with his bike. So today I'm sporting a great bruise on my hand and one on my knee, sore neck and lower back. Great. I'll be nice and green by Sunday.